so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
