Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
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It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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