didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
