so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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