I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
