I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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