I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's never too late to be topless.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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