so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
