Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."

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  (201): At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure." http://tfl.nu/vpnd
  Replies (42) Good night (5973) Bad night (672)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!

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  (513): I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty. (937): Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet! http://tfl.nu/8hnt
  Replies (19) Good night (4325) Bad night (527)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.

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  (610): Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot. http://tfl.nu/czov
  Replies (19) Good night (4472) Bad night (966)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.

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  (727): You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that. http://tfl.nu/4x8y
  Replies (15) Good night (4100) Bad night (786)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.

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  (425): all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help. http://tfl.nu/bkkn
  Replies (6) Good night (3536) Bad night (931)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.

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  (479): I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics. http://tfl.nu/bo11
  Replies (7) Good night (4022) Bad night (830)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out

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  (859): I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out http://tfl.nu/qumr
  Replies (16) Good night (4851) Bad night (1161)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.

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  (774): After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs. http://tfl.nu/szq4
  Replies (17) Good night (651) Bad night (2932)
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  (707): View more from California

  she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute

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  (707): she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute http://tfl.nu/emog
  Replies (3) Good night (1262) Bad night (670)
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  (619): View more from California

  I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.

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  (619): I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain. http://tfl.nu/rwko
  Replies (5) Good night (1349) Bad night (619)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?

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  (917): will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight? http://tfl.nu/ex8f
  Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (527)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.

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  (623): How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you? (1-623): You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror. http://tfl.nu/pl6g
  Replies (10) Good night (892) Bad night (1571)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy

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  (304): i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy http://tfl.nu/mdww
  Replies (7) Good night (449) Bad night (673)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!

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  (816): One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays! http://tfl.nu/bzpk
  Replies (3) Good night (651) Bad night (273)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  How does that even work?

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  (702): I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother. (920): How does that even work? http://tfl.nu/1f27
  Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (246)

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