I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated