Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.

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  (630): Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species. http://tfl.nu/4i2r
  Replies (59) Good night (1318) Bad night (2830)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore

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  (229): my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore http://tfl.nu/2olf
  Replies (20) Good night (3316) Bad night (725)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant

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  (205): what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/58rl
  Replies (38) Good night (691) Bad night (2925)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride

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  (540): she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride http://tfl.nu/utbu
  Replies (47) Good night (1082) Bad night (7617)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie

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  (513): This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie http://tfl.nu/0ykf
  Replies (30) Good night (4017) Bad night (629)
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  (951): View more from California

  now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.

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  (951): now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria. http://tfl.nu/9jm0
  Replies (29) Good night (666) Bad night (6387)
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  (858): View more from California

  Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.

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  (858): Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel. http://tfl.nu/fcxh
  Replies (21) Good night (4688) Bad night (1046)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...

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  (804): Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared... http://tfl.nu/czen
  Replies (3) Good night (3488) Bad night (908)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant

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  (404): The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/hmmb
  Replies (8) Good night (804) Bad night (3976)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying

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  (+61): Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying http://tfl.nu/56hl
  Replies (8) Good night (1602) Bad night (576)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie

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  (917): just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie http://tfl.nu/qsvp
  Replies (6) Good night (1225) Bad night (464)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.

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  (417): Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week. http://tfl.nu/s5do
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (823)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.

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  (832): Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away. http://tfl.nu/sac9
  Replies (1) Good night (942) Bad night (543)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.

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  (843): These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds. http://tfl.nu/t12w
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (245)
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  (323): View more from California

  He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.

  (310): View more from California

  Please stop calling it that.

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  (323): He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys. (310): Please stop calling it that. http://tfl.nu/s1ci
  Replies (5) Good night (813) Bad night (291)

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