Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet

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(480): My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet http://tfl.nu/85uj

Replies (15) Good night (2028) Bad night (1111)
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(404): View more from Georgia

she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.

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(404): she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating. http://tfl.nu/jrr4

Replies (34) Good night (5822) Bad night (664)
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(559): View more from California

You realize it's finals week?

(408): View more from California

Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.

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(559): You realize it's finals week? (408): Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first. http://tfl.nu/rjos

Replies (19) Good night (6336) Bad night (911)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.

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(847): I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face. http://tfl.nu/62jc

Replies (11) Good night (3885) Bad night (1665)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.

(616): View more from Michigan

I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?

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(616): Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past. (616): I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures? http://tfl.nu/o51k

Replies (4) Good night (2921) Bad night (1353)
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(313): View more from Michigan

he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.

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(313): he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it. http://tfl.nu/c4xp

Replies (5) Good night (2384) Bad night (870)
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(713): View more from Texas

onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.

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(713): onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper. http://tfl.nu/3zpi

Replies (10) Good night (1439) Bad night (594)
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(425): View more from Washington

Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began

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(425): Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began http://tfl.nu/trvz

Replies (2) Good night (423) Bad night (744)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?

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(318): At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving? http://tfl.nu/qz6b

Replies (7) Good night (2320) Bad night (528)
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(205): View more from Alabama

My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT

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(205): My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT http://tfl.nu/uxt5

Replies (11) Good night (618) Bad night (2146)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore

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(787): Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore http://tfl.nu/sv88

Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (296)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.

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(330): I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished. http://tfl.nu/wyym

Replies (4) Good night (289) Bad night (498)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.

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(719): I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared. http://tfl.nu/v8f7

Replies (8) Good night (1532) Bad night (418)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.

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(306): I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck. http://tfl.nu/lhcb

Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (215)
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(253): View more from Washington

First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere

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(253): First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere http://tfl.nu/66bl

Replies (0) Good night (547) Bad night (251)

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