Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  don't read that magazine bro. I came in it

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  (570): don't read that magazine bro. I came in it http://tfl.nu/xo8s
  Replies (10) Good night (882) Bad night (3755)
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  (742): View more from

  What happened last night?

  (1-742): View more from

  You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.

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  (742): What happened last night? (1-742): You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth. http://tfl.nu/koqa
  Replies (5) Good night (946) Bad night (4959)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"

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  (315): We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?" http://tfl.nu/1ge9
  Replies (29) Good night (1247) Bad night (8554)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.

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  (303): Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking. http://tfl.nu/3qfc
  Replies (22) Good night (7509) Bad night (1422)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few

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  (407): I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few http://tfl.nu/2coh
  Replies (1) Good night (2319) Bad night (813)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.

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  (775): all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now. http://tfl.nu/wlt7
  Replies (16) Good night (2565) Bad night (1037)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.

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  (585): Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably. http://tfl.nu/akzi
  Replies (6) Good night (2406) Bad night (768)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...

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  (321): I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward... http://tfl.nu/s7n4
  Replies (9) Good night (1355) Bad night (587)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.

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  (506): Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies. http://tfl.nu/zmgn
  Replies (2) Good night (1524) Bad night (574)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.

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  (405): Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk. http://tfl.nu/bh9n
  Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (362)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths

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  (240): She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths http://tfl.nu/lqw0
  Replies (2) Good night (875) Bad night (319)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.

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  (601): I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago. http://tfl.nu/p44l
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (368)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.

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  (724): Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol. http://tfl.nu/ynfj
  Replies (1) Good night (675) Bad night (366)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.

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  (303): Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second. http://tfl.nu/m7me
  Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (482)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit

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  (775): I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit http://tfl.nu/5wjn
  Replies (2) Good night (372) Bad night (519)

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