u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?