Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew

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(360): i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew http://tfl.nu/ocbg

Replies (45) Good night (24163) Bad night (1291)
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(714): View more from California

I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

(949): View more from California

I gave it to your brother to give to you.

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(714): I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it? (949): I gave it to your brother to give to you. http://tfl.nu/fwxt

Replies (57) Good night (14149) Bad night (5516)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

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(734): Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested. http://tfl.nu/xcij

Replies (35) Good night (5663) Bad night (2345)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers

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(248): I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers http://tfl.nu/q3tc

Replies (7) Good night (2218) Bad night (1211)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often

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(301): Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often http://tfl.nu/2a6o

Replies (8) Good night (1829) Bad night (642)
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(817): View more from Texas

your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha

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(817): your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha http://tfl.nu/t468

Replies (8) Good night (2243) Bad night (1081)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

At least you have booty calls.

(1-901): View more from Tennessee

True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china

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(901): At least you have booty calls. (1-901): True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china http://tfl.nu/6dg2

Replies (7) Good night (1608) Bad night (653)
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(716): View more from New York

I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.

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(716): I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start. http://tfl.nu/5uu7

Replies (13) Good night (2538) Bad night (676)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...

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(704): So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ... http://tfl.nu/bcgx

Replies (5) Good night (582) Bad night (1232)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.

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(414): If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg. http://tfl.nu/31ua

Replies (2) Good night (1444) Bad night (801)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.

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(563): Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up. http://tfl.nu/xba5

Replies (0) Good night (476) Bad night (868)
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(775): View more from Nevada

If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.

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(775): If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs. http://tfl.nu/o8sz

Replies (1) Good night (917) Bad night (352)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks

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(775): He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks http://tfl.nu/jztr

Replies (3) Good night (693) Bad night (413)
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(631): View more from New York

Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good

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(631): Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good http://tfl.nu/dysc

Replies (1) Good night (930) Bad night (320)
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(734): View more from Michigan

If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear

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(734): If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear http://tfl.nu/bc5m

Replies (6) Good night (911) Bad night (310)

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