he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
