You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
