I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
