i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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