There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
