Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
