Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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