so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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