Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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