the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
