I could have mohawked her pubes.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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