I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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