I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
