What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
