The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
