I wish they made helmets for livers.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
