So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
