he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize