If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
