The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
