One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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