Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
