So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
