Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
