Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
