Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
