Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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