Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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