my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize