im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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