Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Holy shit dude........stairs
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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