1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
