pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
