i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
