dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dick very happy bro
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
