She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
only if we run a train.
done.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
