Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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