I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize