And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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