I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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