What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
