Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
