I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
