What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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