My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
