happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
