You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
