She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
