how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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