When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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