Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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